I find myself feeling incredibly frustrated with my current situation. My partner and I have been together for over 10 years, and we have a 1-year-old child together. He also has two teenagers from previous relationships. Just as I was about to finish grad school, I became pregnant and had to put my career plans on hold. I haven’t been able to pass a state licensing exam after failing it four times in a row. Balancing parenting and trying to kick-start my career has been a monumental challenge. The stress and anxiety have taken a toll on me, leading me to seek therapy, but things still aren’t improving.
The main issue I’m facing is the lack of support from my partner when it comes to parenting our child. He works outside of the house while I’m a stay-at-home parent (not by choice). I take care of our child about 95% of the time, every day of the week. On top of that, I try to manage household chores and find four hours of uninterrupted study time each day. As a result, I often find myself staying up until 3 am, trying to juggle everything. I’ve brought up this issue with my partner multiple times, usually when I’m on the verge of a breakdown. However, his responses remain the same. He believes that his contribution is solely financial, taking care of the bills, and sees my role as solely caring for our child. He accuses me of being a poor communicator and insists that I need to explicitly ask him for help with specific tasks related to our child because he “can’t read my mind.”
Honestly, I’m exhausted by this dynamic. If I had the financial means and resources, I would likely leave. I feel like a single parent most of the time, and it frustrates me that I can’t rely on my partner for help with our child. Mentally, this situation is taking a heavy toll on me, and I desperately need to remove these sources of stress from my life. Is it wrong for me to consider ending the relationship for these reasons? I do acknowledge and appreciate his financial contributions and the fact that he takes care of us, even though it hasn’t been easy for him. But it feels like this is the only way things will be until I can go back to work and afford daycare for our child, which is currently beyond our means.
I find myself constantly disliking him. Our relationship is highly unhealthy, and I have no desire to entertain the idea of couples counseling. If he can’t make time to be home at a reasonable hour and contribute to parenting our toddler, I highly doubt counseling would have any positive impact on our situation.