As a first-time mom, it’s natural for me to be easily alarmed by anything out of the norm, especially with my anxiety tendencies. Recently, my almost 4-month-old baby has been feeling a bit under the weather from daycare, which he started attending two weeks ago.
I became increasingly worried when he started making a high-pitched wheezing sound that I had never heard before. It seemed to occur with every other breath, and it set off my anxiety. I found myself pacing around with my little one, seeking comfort and reassurance. Meanwhile, my husband was engrossed in a game with his friends and attempted to dismiss my concerns with stern and harsh words. “Babe, stop freaking out!” “Sit down and relax!” “Just be quiet, he’s perfectly fine!” His lack of empathy deeply hurt me, and I was on the verge of tears. I mustered the courage to ask him to pause the game and attend to our baby, and reluctantly, he obliged, throwing his controller to the ground and informing his friends that he needed to tend to his wife.
As I continued to pace anxiously, my husband told me to either give him the baby or sit down and calm down. Feeling overwhelmed, I handed our little one to him and retreated to the bathroom to splash water on my face. But in less than a minute, I could hear our baby crying and screaming in my husband’s arms. He shouted from the hallway, asking me to come and get our crying child, claiming that the baby was overstimulating him and searching for me. I hurriedly took our baby back into my arms, and instantly, he calmed down and fell asleep peacefully. It was a bittersweet moment that highlighted the importance of my presence and nurturing.
To my surprise, my husband then expressed his opinion that I should quit breastfeeding once our baby starts trying solid foods in a week because he believes it fosters a stronger bond between the baby and me. Without giving it much thought, he returned to his game, seemingly oblivious to the emotional turbulence he had just caused.
Later on, as we prepared to bathe our baby before bedtime, we encountered another challenge. Our little one had developed a severe diaper rash, and we needed to find a comfortable bathing position for him. While he had grown to dislike his baby bathtub, he enjoyed sitting up with assistance. I requested my husband’s help since our baby tends to squirm a lot, making it difficult to ensure his safety alone. However, my husband suggested we simply lay our baby down in the water, convinced that his face being exposed would be fine. Refusing to compromise on our child’s safety, I raised my voice and firmly stated that I would not entertain such a risky decision. In frustration, my husband laid the baby down in the water and stormed off, leaving me to tend to our little one’s needs.
Lately, my husband’s behavior has become increasingly verbally aggressive, leaving me feeling shaken and doubting the foundation of trust in our relationship. The way he dismisses my concerns, disregards my role as a mother, and his lack of empathy are causing me to question myself.
Am I overreacting?