My partner and I recently sent out wedding invitations for our September wedding. To provide some context, I initially preferred a non-traditional wedding, opting for a courthouse ceremony followed by a small dinner with close family and friends. However, my partner desired a wedding ceremony and reception, emphasizing its significance to his family as well. We compromised on a small wedding with 50 guests and began searching for a suitable venue. We stumbled upon a beautifully renovated old schoolhouse in my hometown, which seemed perfect.
However, my partner then expressed his desire to have the ceremony in a church, citing his grandmother’s attendance as crucial. His grandmother, a devout Catholic in her 90s, wouldn’t come unless the ceremony took place in a church. Not being religious myself and never having been raised in a religious household, I felt uncomfortable going through the process of getting married in a Catholic church. My partner assured me that any church would do, as his grandmother had attended weddings in various churches for his cousins.
So, we compromised once again and decided to have the ceremony in the Episcopal church where my parents got married, conveniently located next to our reception venue. We met with the current priest, and everything seemed like a good fit.
During a recent visit to my partner’s family, his grandmother warmly embraced me, offering her congratulations since it was the first time we had seen each other since getting engaged. Everything appeared fine. However, the following day, my partner’s mother informed me that she had spoken to his grandmother (her mother-in-law), who expressed uncertainty about attending the wedding because it wasn’t in a Catholic church and there wouldn’t be a Catholic priest present to bless us. I’m infuriated. The sole reason we even decided to have a church ceremony was to accommodate her wishes, and now she’s considering not coming.
My partner is also upset, as his grandmother has attended all his cousins’ weddings, regardless of the church they were held in (only one of her grandchildren got married in a Catholic church). His mother believes there might be some lingering resentment from their own wedding, as she is Episcopalian and refused to convert despite getting married in a Catholic church.
Although my partner believes his grandmother will eventually come around, I am still deeply upset about the situation.