Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit off with a churning stomach. Uncertain about the situation, I decided to take a pregnancy test and scheduled an appointment for Saturday. Unfortunately, on Saturday morning, I woke up to heavy bleeding, much heavier than a period. In need of medical attention, my sister-in-law kindly offered to watch my daughter while I rushed to the ER. It was confirmed that I had a miscarriage.
Today, I’ve been feeling deeply depressed and upset, but I’ve tried my best to hide it from my daughter, not wanting to burden her with my emotions. Despite my inner turmoil, we proceeded with our usual family dinner with my partner’s side of the family, including my mother-in-law (MIL), father-in-law (FIL), sister-in-law (SIL), her husband, and their son. As the kids went to bed and the men were having a drink, FIL raised the topic of when my partner would propose, anticipating more grandkids. He also inquired about SIL’s plans for expanding her family. The mention of children triggered my emotions, and unable to contain myself, I excused myself and left the room.
Unbeknownst to them, I could hear the conversation unfolding since there were no doors separating the two rooms. MIL made a hurtful remark, suggesting that I wasn’t cut out to be a mother and considering the miscarriage as “divine intervention.” She went on to say that even if my partner and I were to have a baby, I would never be accepted into the family, regardless of the number of grandchildren I give her. Shockingly, she even suggested that my partner should use protection against me, offering to buy it for him. She insinuated that I might have a questionable past and could have contracted diseases.
I feel compelled to clarify a few things. I undergo annual testing for STDs, regardless of my sexual history, and before being with my partner, I had not engaged in promiscuous behavior. Moreover, my partner and I are not actively trying to have children. While we sometimes use protection, we haven’t been as consistent as we probably should be. However, my partner has expressed that he wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a surprise baby with me.
Thankfully, SIL, her husband, and FIL vehemently disagreed with MIL’s hurtful comments. They argued that I have been a wonderful mother to my partner’s daughter and would be an excellent mother to any child. They, particularly my partner, were deeply disturbed by the fact that MIL essentially labeled me as promiscuous. My partner spoke up about my loyalty, love, and attentiveness, not only in a physical sense but in every aspect of our relationship. However, it was FIL who made the most significant impact by stating that if a miscarriage is considered “divine intervention” and a sign that a woman should not be a mother, then he should have heeded those signs himself. He then approached me and enveloped me in a comforting, fatherly hug.
In the midst of the conversation, I thought I heard my brother-in-law mutter, “Oh no,” but before I could fully process it, my partner promptly asked his mother to leave. MIL departed alone, while FIL opted to sleep in one of the guest rooms for the night. I am grateful that the majority of my partner’s family is supportive during times like this, providing solace and reassurance.