My girlfriend of 3 years has been putting a lot of pressure on me to marry her within a year, but I’m honestly unsure if I want to make that commitment. We’ve been together for three years, and while marriage wasn’t a big deal in my family, it means a lot to her. We are in our late 20s right now. She’s given me an ultimatum, saying she’ll leave if we don’t marry within the specified timeframe, and I understand where she’s coming from. However, she’s also expressed that she’ll leave if I don’t move with her to another state for her med school in the next year or two. This is something I’m hesitant about, especially considering the demands and commitments that come with being married to someone in med school.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s loving and sweet, but I’m seriously struggling with the decision of spending the rest of my life with her, especially when there’s a deadline hanging over our heads. There have been moments when she’s broken down in tears while drunk, begging me to stay with her and marry her, and I can’t help but feel like I’m being emotionally manipulated. One of the issues I have is that she can be selfish, possessive, and jealous, which I didn’t pay much attention to at first. However, now I’m starting to worry that she’s only concerned about not losing me, and it feels like she doesn’t genuinely care about me as a person but rather wants me for her own well-being.
Maybe I’m being selfish too, but I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I’m uncertain about spending the rest of my life with her. I apologize if my thoughts seem jumbled and unclear; I’m just overwhelmed and needed to vent. What should I do? Should I marry her? Should I talk to her about my doubts? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I feel incredibly alone and find it difficult to open up to anyone about this, especially her. Lately, I’ve noticed myself becoming more attracted to other women and longing for a connection with someone new. Is it time to end the relationship?
In summary, my girlfriend is pushing for marriage, but I’m unsure if I want to commit due to the issues and red flags that have arisen in our relationship.